Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
