he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
