oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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