thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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