Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
