Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
