I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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