i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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