She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize