Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
