It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
