you have to choose: penises or morals?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize