woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
high people should be assigned attendants
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
