just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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