the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
