Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
