Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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