I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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