found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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