My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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