i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
