If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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