I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
MIDGETS
????
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
