By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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