Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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