Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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