Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
