so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
