get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
