he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
