Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i think i have two assholes
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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