Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
