the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
