wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
