Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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