NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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