i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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