My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
