i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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