It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
