Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
