I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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