Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
