i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
