some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
