Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize