I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
