After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
