We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
