what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize