and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
