Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
