piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
