Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
