Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
