He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
