when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
