tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize