i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize