so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
