I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
