he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
two words: eviction party
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
