Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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