Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
