I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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