In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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