Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
